One more “over-sharing” post.. sorry.
Some time ago Cath challenged me to define my perfect match, the things I want in a partner… while not having anybody specific in mind. That’s been kinda tricky.
Then last week Ingi asked me a very simple, yet very complex question.. “What do you want Joe?”. A dangerous question.. it gets you thinking.
So yesterday I had to finally figure it out. Pressure moment. I had a long and interesting conversation. So enthralling a chat that a friend who was at the same restaurant emailed me today saying the conversation just looked so involved she did not want to come over and interrupt (-:
We talked about excitement vs. happiness, the infatuation time frames of music and relationships and the cost of life experiences among other things.
Earlier that day, I had a smoothy at Neo and took some time to think about what I want. What alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity:
I’ve figured out that.. I want a relationship, but I’m all about the fun and excitement. I’m looking for a partner in crime.
Not really the white picket fence dream. In some ways I’ve already done the ~marriage and kids thing. Having Mia around is kinda liberating in that way, it removes the pressures of thinking about life in a sequential progression way.. engagement, marriage, house, kids.. a.k.a. delayed happiness dilemma, induced mostly by society.
In the top 5 most painful breakups, well.. this was sorta number two, only.. not painful. If that makes any sense.
Interesting how when you label things they become simple. Like the start of that Morcheeba song..
Once a label is on something
It becomes an it
Like its no longer alive
Its like a loss of vision
Or some dark impression
Or a black spot on your eye
— Morcheeba, What Do New York Couples Fight About
So, I’ve started making a list. The things I like, the things I want:
- must like outdoor stuff, fitness, running, swimming
- must like hugs, massages, movies, dancing
- fun, independent, a bit quirky, creative
- mothering, because I’m such a boy, haha
- must meet in my (near) social network, not online dating
- I kinda like the idea of power couples
- must like music, jazz music a plus
- free and independent thinker
- must be able to learn from her, challenge each other
- must be able to leave at a moment’s notice, pack light
Yes, I’ll still cook her the Thai green curry.
Ok, we’ll return to regular programming now.